Rare Turbo Encabulator, Mk VII (Restored)

At long last, a genuine Mk VII Turbo Encabulator — restored, calibrated, and ready for the discerning collector.

For years the industry has struggled with the problem of supplying inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors. The Turbo Encabulator solves it outright. The base-plate is cast in prefamulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing so arranged that the two main spurving bearings sit in a direct line with the pentametric fan.

Each unit is hand-finished and includes:

• Six hydrocoptic marzlevanes, fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft to prevent side-fumbling
• A differential girdlespring on the up-end of the grammeters
• Panendermic semi-boloid slots of the standard nivel-sheave type
• Automatic synchronization of cardinal grammeters — no manual trunnion required

Operates on the principle of modial interaction between magneto-reluctance and capacitive directance. Sinusoidal depleneration is negligible under normal load.

This is a joke. The turbo encabulator is engineering's most beloved piece of nonsense — invented by graduate student John Hellins Quick and published, entirely straight-faced, in the Institution of Electrical Engineers' Students' Quarterly Journal in December 1944. It reached America via Time in 1946, was immortalised by Bud Haggart in a 1977 industrial training film, and returned as Rockwell Automation's "Retro Encabulator" in 1997.

Every component named above is fictional. This listing is a test artifact and is not for sale.